Questions That My Couples Are Afraid To Ask Me So I’ve Answered Them For You Here

There are many questions that my couples are afraid to ask me, or sometimes just nervous to state out loud. Other questions are just simply rude to ask or come from a place of misunderstanding or not knowing exactly how much work goes on behind the scenes. I’m hoping to clear a few of those things up for you, whether you’re looking for a photographer, have hired me and are wondering a couple of things, or if I haven’t given you your photos yet and you’re wondering, ‘What’s taking so long?” I hope I’ve answered it all. But if I haven’t go ahead and place your question in the comments  under this post and I’ll get back to you. And I’m going to be very honest and candid with you all today.

How old are you?

I get asked this one a lot, or at least, I see it on the faces of many of the couples I meet. I am thirty-one years old, but people often mistake me for being 10-15 years younger than my age! The worst one I got recently was someone thought I was thirteen. Most of the time people assume I’m between 16-19 and even 21 if I’m lucky. I’m a petite person with a youthful face. I also have a small voice to match. It sounds great in theory, but reverse ageism is a thing. It really can impact my earning potential and often does, especially when people take one look at me and incorrectly assume I’m too young to know what I’m doing, even though I have eleven years of wedding experience. I’ve been turned away by a few couples already because they mistook me for a high school or college student. I dress my age and I like to think I also act my age, but I know I don’t look my age. The good news is that I usually exceed people’s expectations and blow them away with my work because they often underestimate me. I truly hope that my photography speaks for itself, not my age or appearance.

I happen to think I look my age, but for full disclosure, here are a couple photos of me:

Why don’t you work with a second shooter?

I used to. Simply because I was so convinced by the social norms that I had to. When I first started professionally after college I would bring a second and I have often shot as a second photographer myself. Most of the time, I would agree that having a second photographer is a good idea. But I also have a different background than most photographers and a very different style. For one, I have a degree in photography and secondly, I trained as a photojournalist. I’m used to capturing events as they unfold without missing a beat (or a picture!). Not everyone has that ability and not everyone has that comfort level. And that’s ok. There is no right or wrong way, simply different ways.

When I first started out I shot with an assistant or a second because that was what was done. But it simply didn’t work for me. It took up precious time shooting around someone else, conducting where they needed to be, and making sure they weren’t in the background of my photos, in my way for a crucial event, and their light wasn’t ruining my shots. But there were also things I didn’t like about the American wedding industry. The fact that it is so over commercialized was one of them. I believe the day should be about the two of you and having a big crew not only caused problems for me as a photographer, but it also made the day into a bigger production. You will see it with the gear I carry that I do my best to be as unobtrusive as possible and still get the shot -hopefully without you noticing. As a single photographer I get all the shots that I need and I follow your day as it unfolds. The less production that goes on, the more you get to enjoy the moment and that is important to me as a wedding photojournalist. My style isn’t for everyone, but for the couples I work with it is an intimate relationship that helps me to capture the day to my best ability.

Why aren’t you full time?

The simple answer is because I moved a lot. I lived in New York then moved to Maryland and then moved back to Connecticut several years back. Each time I move I have to start over. The referral engine take s a few years to kick up and then finally, at the beginning of 2020 I was right at the cusp of quitting my office job and going full time. And then the pandemic hit. And it hit hard. All of my weddings for 2020 were wiped out. Some reemerged as micro weddings in the fall. Spring and summer this year has been slow too. Finally, things are looking up for 2022 weddings, but people are still hesitant to hire their photographers in case things change again. I understand, which is why my covid wedding clause is extremely flexible. I’ll asnwer that one next. For now, I can’t go to any wedding expos because they’re not really happening and the ones that are simply aren’t safe. And they cost between $1,000 and $1,600 per show so right now I would rather wait until there is a bigger audience (safely) and it is worth it. Even though I’m not full time I have many years of experience under my camera strap and I’m so grateful that I get to do what I love.

What are your Covid protocols?

As of right now, I’m being as flexible as I can possibly be. This is an impossible situation for all engaged couples and the vendors too. I can’t always guarantee I’ll have your wedding date open if things change (because I do have contracts for other weddings), but if your wedding gets postponed due to Covid, I will change the date for no additional charge and be there for your new date as long as I have it available. For my couples that chose micro weddings now and the big wedding later, I’ve just been treating it as one wedding. Sure, it’s a lot of extra work for me (a 12-16 hour wedding day and hours upon hours of editing on top of it) but to me it is worth it. It is worth it because it gives my couples one less thing to worry about. It is worth it because with the pandemic limiting my weddings I am more than happy to be photographing an event and having work to show for it. It is worth it because I hope that my happy couples and their family and friends will also see how much I’m willing to do for my clients and refer me to their friends and families too.

Currently, I am doing weddings. If the Delta variant gets really bad this winter I may have to make some changes. I also wear a mask to each wedding because I’m attending so many events that I do not want to get myself sick and miss a wedding or cause harm to my couples and their loved ones. I am also vaccinated. In July I attended a wedding where a bridesmaid did not know she had Covid until a few days after the wedding and forty of the guests got sick. Thankfully, they all recovered, but I can’t help but worry about how many hundreds of people those forty people infected at their jobs, in their families, at their gatherings, and even on trips to the grocery store. So, I’m wearing my mask. I’m not forcing anyone else to at weddings, but it is my personal choice.

Do you photograph same sex weddings?

Yes! I photograph ALL weddings. Love is love and I am so supportive of ALL of my couples. It is really sad to me that people have to ask or are worried about this, but I want you to know that Live Lovely Photography is a safe place for everyone. I wish our world was a better place. I have not had the honor of photographing a same sex wedding just yet, but I would love to photograph your engagement and wedding.

How far will you travel for a wedding?

Anywhere you want to go, I’ll be there. I’m a really adventurous and outdoorsy person so I would love to photograph your adventurous elopement or destination wedding. I’ve photographed a proposal on the Devils’s Bridge in Sedona Arizona and took multiple planes to get to Vieques, Puerto Rico for a beautiful destination wedding. I’ve also photographed for a company in Bali, Indonesia. Next summer I’ll be flying to Tuscany for not one wedding, but two! Honestly, no place is too far.  I create custom wedding collections for destination weddings and elopements and travel expenses are added for an additional fee.

Why won’t you copy this photo for me?

I don’t plagiarize other people’s work. It’s just a no can do. Not only is it illegal, it simply isn’t right. But I can do a similar pose for you. We can be inspired by the photo and create something like it without copying it. Or do something very similar and then credit the original creator. Let’s treat artists and photographers with more respect by respecting their work.

Why don’t my photos look like…..?

You wanted bright and airy photos, but your ceremony took place at five p.m. and most of your photos were taken at sunset or after dark. You wanted dark and moody pictures, but you got married on a bright sunny day on the beach. The simple answer to this question is that your wedding day looks like your wedding day. I can add flashes when it is dark and change the colors a tiny bit while editing and change my shutter speed an aperture to capture a different mood and change the brightness a little bit, but I can’t change the sun and I can’t change the colors or the location where you got married. (Technically, I couldn’t; but it would look really bad, I swear it.) I can’t change the time of day or the details. I simply photograph your wedding the way it unfolds. Obviously, there is a certain style that I have that you will always get with me and my work. You will always get candid images and beautiful portraits. You can count on me to get a nice back lit shot during the reception if its dark enough. You can expect black and white images with your final edits nd you can plan on me capturing your wedding day as it unfolds. But every wedding is different. The location, the setting, the lighting, the colors, the details, the way you’re dressed, your hair and makeup, the time we have to take the photos themselves will be different than other weddings, the abundance or lack of windows, the reception lighting, the sunlight or lack thereof will all change the way your wedding looks. No wedding is cookie cutter, they’re all unique. So I can’t make your wedding look like something it isn’t. But I will always do my best to capture the photos you want, no matter the weather or the lighting, the location, or any number of factors that changes the way your photos look.

Why can’t I have the raw footage or see it?

There are numerous reasons why you won’t get your raw footage. The first is because I own all the copyrights to it as the photographer. I created it, and it is mine to own and to protect. Secondly, if you share it or edit the photo it can severely damage my business. If people see your pumpkin colored or funky looking filter on my photo or simply an unedited raw image, they will assume I edited it or photographed it that way. And that really hurts my business. This goes for the final edits too. If you edit my photos you’re not only trespassing on my copyrights and breaking the law, you’re passing off my work as your own or causing unintentional but severe harm to my business. In the past I did have a bride that had a bridesmaid that really wanted to hire me. Until she saw the muddy and dark sepia toned photos the bride edited then printed at Walmart. They looked so bad that the bridesmaid did not hire me. And from that I lost several other weddings and thousands of dollars of income. Just like that. Let me repeat that; I lost thousands in income because of one badly edited and printed photo.

And thirdly, your final edits are my work. They are my pride and joy. I photograph correctly in raw format from the get go, but the final edit is when the photo truly shines. I work hard to edit your photos and I have also created my own custom presets that are unique to my business. The raw photos are not for show. I don’t want you seeing unfinished work and I don’t want you sharing it either. (Remember, it hurts my business and my bottom line.) Also, you can’t have every picture because not every picture is good. Really, sometimes they don’t come out right. – Thats why I take so many. The light changes, people blink or make funny faces, things get in the background or people get in my way. Sometimes the flash doesn’t go off or its too dark or too bright. Sometimes an image is blurry or I didn’t capture it the way that I hoped. You’ll see all the keepers, I promise, but all the ones that didn’t come out or are simply duplicates of the best images you don’t need to see or share for the reasons stated in reason two.

Why won’t you edit my body to look smaller/curvier/ect.?

Let’s start with me saying that we all have our insecurities and I don’t want to add to them by changing you. I do my best to photograph you in the most flattering way with great poses and lighting and skilled composition. You are beautiful and your partner thinks so too. That’s why they married you. For ethical reasons, I can’t edit you away or change you. It’s not good for your wellbeing and it’s not good for mine either. It is a bad business practice. Your loved ones want to see you looking your best in your photos. They want to see you because they love you! Not someone else. On a professional standpoint, I also do not have the time to edit your arms smaller in 2,000+ photos. It is hours of tedious work and I’m simply not going to do it because it is bad for everyone involved.

Why can’t you retouch this bruise/blemish out of every picture?

So here’s the deal, I do edit out blemishes and bruises and shadows and under eye circles and all of those things that are temporary and not part of you. But I don’t do it for every photo. Any photo that is going to be published online, printed, or put in an album I will edit for you. I’ll smooth out textured skin and fix clothing straps and remove bruises and take away ugly things from the background of your pictures. But doing so to 2,000+ photos would take hours upon hours of work. It is not my responsibility to remove blemishes or bruises or any number of things. I already spend about forty hours editing a wedding day already and I just don’t have an additional 10-20+ hours to do that kind of work. It’s just not something I do, but if there is a specific photo you want retouched, I’d be happy to. You can read more about it in my contract.

Why are you taking so long with my photos? The photos are digital, shouldn’t they just be ready already?

It takes approximately forty hours more or less to edit a wedding. First I archive and back up all the raw photos to ensure that they are protected and safe (approximately 2-6 hours). Then I create a Lightroom catalogue and import the photos in to edit (approximately 20-30 minutes). From there I select all of the keepers, leaving out any duplicates and images that just didn’t come out or work (approximately 2-6 hours). Then I keyword them to divide them into folders for “ceremony, ” “reception,” “Bridal party,” ect. (twenty-thirty minutes). Finally, I get to start editing. I choose the best images for the blog, edit those (approximately 2-6 hours depending), export them from Lightroom (twenty minutes), import them into my blog (approximately 1-2 hours), organize and write up the blog (twenty-thirty minutes), and look up and tag all credits to all wedding vendors involved in your day (twenty-five minutes) and then publish the post so that you can see a preview of your day and have something to share with your family and friends. It is my hope that the blog holds you over and helps with the anticipation as you await your final images.

Next I get into the final editing. I don’t just slap on a filter or a preset and call it a day; I personally touch every single image to ensure it looks its best (10-20 hours depending). Some photos take longer than others depending on the lighting of the event and any number of things. Sometimes I have to create a new custom preset because of a unique lighting situation at your wedding (approximately one hour to get it right). Once that is done I re-number the images (takes just a couple minutes), export them from Lightroom (approximately one hour), back them up (Could take up to an hour depending on how many photos), put them on a USB (up to thirty minutes) and get your USB and box prepared for shipping. But while I’m doing that I’m also doing the same thing for the wedding from the week before yours. And the wedding from the weekend after. And the engagement session I did a few days before and the maternity session I just did this week. I usually have multiple projects open at the same time. During that time I’m also living my life. I’m working, going to family events, spending time with my loved ones after a long work day, and other daily tasks. I try to edit based on time captured. First come, first served, but some sessions are also much smaller than others and those get completed in much less time.

Back in the film days (just ten years ago for many photographers!) it took six months to get your photos to you. Now it takes the average photographer only three months. I do it usually within two. Again, it is written in my contract so that you know what to expect. Personally, the photos from my wedding took about four months to come in. I knew it would take some time so I didn’t ask the photographer. Which is why I like to let my couples know upfront. It’s right in my contract. I always try to exceed expectations and get you your images as quickly as possible, but for me, quality beats speed every single time. Maybe you have a friend that got hers in just a couple weeks. But how do they look? Were they edited well? Is the photographer a student who is just starting out and doesn’t spend much time editing or have any other events to edit at the same time? Or perhaps they outsourced all of their editing. I certainly could, but my clients pay me for the look and expertise that I provide. Editing is a crucial part in how your final photos appear. I have a very specific vision for your photos and I like completing my vision myself.  I could just pay someone $200 to edit them fast, but I don’t want them to be done fast. I want them to be done well. Please be patient and kind as I make your photos the best they can be.

Why does the blog post take a couple weeks? 

As I mentioned above, it takes some time to back up, archive raw files, then import into Lightroom and sift through nearly 5,000 photos. I have to go through them all to pick the best ones. That itself takes time, but I enjoy it. When I select all of my favorites, the ones that tell your story, I edit those then export them. From there I upload them to the blog, which can take a few hours itself. The I write up the blog post, search for all of the vendors involved so I can credit and tag them, and finally publish. I’m also working on other projects at the same time though. Perhaps there is a whole weekend where I cannot go through your photos because I am photographing an out of state wedding. Or an afternoon where I have another photo shoot so I don’t have the time to edit your day. Maybe you didn’t give me the names of your wedding vendors to credit them on the blog so I’m spending a lot of time looking them up online and searching for their information. I’m also working during the week and I have a family and time outside of work. Many photographers take a whole month to post the blog post if they post one. Some wait until after you’ve gotten all of your photos three months later. I try to do it within two-three weeks so that you have something to enjoy and hold you over so you wait for all of your edits to arrive. It’s something nice that I try to do for my couples and it can be stressful when people keep asking to see all the pictures when I haven’t even had the time to go through them all yet.

How come you don’t do table shots of all of our guests?

Simply because people are eating when they’re sitting at the table. No one wants to be interrupted as they eat or have photos of them while shoveling food into their mouths. I’m also usually eating at the same time as the guests so I don’t miss your special moments. In my opinion, the table shot is very outdated, rude, and no one ever likes them anyway. People are also often seated with people they don’t know at all and they’re not looking forward to group photos with strangers.  Instead, I get your guests hanging out or dancing on the dance floor. I try my best to photograph everyone. If they’re on the dance floor, they’re free game for me and my camera, but some people simply don’t want their photo taken. And I respect that. If I see people sitting around a table chatting away and having a good time then I know that that is their group and I ask them to huddle up for a quick picture. So I do take a few table shots sometimes.

Why didn’t I get every photo I asked you for?

You gotta love Pinterest. I get inspired by the photo sharing app and I know my brides do too. They’ll send me boards they created and photo lists a mile long with all sorts of photos. I like seeing them because then I get a better idea of what my couples are hoping for. But the simple answer to this question is that I don’t have time on a real wedding day to get every shot and some just simply aren’t possible on your wedding day. I try to get them all, but it isn’t possible so usually we settle for your top three. Sometimes the family and group photos really eat into your photo taking time. And groomsmen often go missing into the cocktail hour when they’re supposed to be there for photos and we lose precious time. Sometimes it rains on your big day, literally, and certain shots just aren’t achievable. You’ve given me a board of photos from forty different weddings in forty different places and you expect me to get them all on one wedding day with only thirty minutes set aside for your bridal portraits. It just simply isn’t possible. Or you expect your getting ready photos to look all light and airy like the French villa you shared with me, only your getting ready location is the Hilton Hotel and your small hotel room only has one tiny window, an ugly yellow lap, and no space. Nevertheless, I do try my best.

Why are you so expensive? My friend can take these photos for free.

I get it, weddings do add up. But I can’t lower my prices because you don’t want to pay me for my work. People hire me because they love my photography. They love my photography because of my experience, my skill, my education in photography (and those college loans don’t pay themselves back), my camera and equipment, and my editing style. Nearly forty percent of each wedding goes to taxes. From that I have to pay for my blog, photo storage and backups, my website domain name, my Adobe subscription, my gear and cleaning and repairs, time editing and working on your wedding, my internet bill, my vehicle that gets me to your wedding, my home rent, memory cards, extra batteries, groceries and other costs of living, flashes, and so many other business and living costs. I have to survive off of my job just a you do. And from there I also want to put aside a little for retirement or emergency savings or a vacation once a year. I’m making a living. I simply can’t work for free.

About a month ago I got an e-mail from a mother of a bride who sent me a list of cheap photographers who she loves for their prices ($1200-1800) but she hated their work and said she liked mine better and wanted to hire me for her daughter. She wanted me to give her my work for their costs. I had to politely tell her no. I have a different level of skill, education, gear, and experience than those other photographers. The reason why I cost more is because I am a better photographer.

The e-mail:

“Hi Courtney

Many of these lovely photographers were just starting out, college students, and an older photographer doing this as a side gig in retirement. There was one that didn’t even do the work at all, but hired new photographers cheaply to do the work for them. I kept their names out of this because it wouldn’t be fair to show them, but you can see why I didn’t budge for this e-mail. I understand her point of view, but if she wants work for that budget she needs to hire a photographer in that budget or at least reach out to a photographer closer to her price point to negotiate with. I could not photograph the wedding at more than half my cost when 40% of it would go to taxes right off the bat and I still had hours of work and other supplies to pay for. I would go into the negatives photographing this wedding for those prices. The reason why these photographers cost less than me is because they don’t have the same skills and overhead costs as I have.

That being said, I’m priced very fairly for my skillset and the market. In fact, many professionals consider my pricing to be too low. I’m starting to agree with them. So if you really think your friend with an iphone can take better photos, then you can hire them. But if you really thought they could do better, then you wouldn’t be talking to me in the first place.

Gosh, I don’t think I have ever answered these questions so candidly before. But I hope it gave you the real honest truth. There is so much work that goes behind the scenes on a wedding day. The photographing part of the day is actually one of the easiest. There is so much involved and I love what I do. I hope these answers filled in the gaps or answered things you’ve been wondering for a while. If I missed your question, you can see my frequently asked questions page under the About Me tab or ask in the comments below.